Call it the unintended consequences of modern life or political correctness, but there is a social pressure that can create sexual dysfunction in men. Men don’t want to be perceived as “bad guys” for being too sexually aggressive. Many have grown up reluctant to take charge in a sexual situation for fear of being impolite or appearing brutish. It oftentimes leaves a woman a bit flummoxed and self-conscious, thinking that if she were more attractive, then he would be more into her. Men don’t realize that their sexual assertiveness benefits women a great deal, for many are unhappy with what they perceive to be disinterest and passivity on the part of male partners.
I think there is great deal of uncertainty and confusion today as to where the line is between aggressive behavior and being assertive and authentically masculine. Much of my work with individual men has to do with how to articulate, appropriately, what they want and how to express their passion without feeling guilty.